From its first appearance as a fictional setting in an H.P. Lovecraft novel to its current incarnation as a tourist attraction, Oregon is home to some funky stuff, including the fish hatcheries at the Bonneville Dam, home of "Herman the Sturgeon".
Within those dread hatcheries swim "Rainbow Trout", or as my family now refers to them, "Lurking Flesh Reapers". Oh sure, something about watching fish the size of small dogs churn the water to a froth going after the "pellet food" you buy by the twenty-five cent handful should have given a hint, but nooooo. Since petting the fish is an automatic federal fine, let's just say "someone else's child" was petting the fish when the sucker took a monster chomp on their 2.5 year old's finger.
One rule I found on the Bonneville Hatchery website afterwards was this: "Never place hands or foreign objects in water or try to touch the fish. This is very harmful to them." Well, it's apparently harmful for two reasons - one: contact with the fish can remove some of their protective coating and render them susceptible to waterborne infections and the like (hence the entirely appropriate fine); two: they may bite off your fingers and choke.
![]() |
Floating Death |
So in summary:
- Petting a Rainbow Trout in a Federally maintained hatchery can subject you to a (well-deserved) fine.
- Placing your idiot fingers near a hungry Rainbow Trout can result in getting bit by a Rainbow Trout.
- Rainbow Trout have teeth, and a bite from one can cause serious shredding.